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I'm single. I live in LA. I'm on dating apps. And unsurprisingly, I get more unsolicited dick pics than you could ever imagine. Out of nowhere, the straight-guy selfie takes pjcs my phone screen like virtual unwanted morning wood. I wondered, Self pics men would guys do if I turned the tables and sent them an unexpected vagina pic?

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First, I had to find the perfect vagina pic because the only people Self pics men see mine are men I'm intimate with and, duh, my gynecologist.

I searched the Interwebs, and after extensive research Self pics men have to give props to straight guys and lesbians -- vaginas are like fingerprints except you really don't know what you're going to get. After a lot of "Whoa!

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Next, I loaded the dating app Bumble, which lets you send photos to your matches within the app Self pics men than via text. If I was going to send vaje pics willy-nilly, I didn't want to have too many weirdoes knowing my phone number. I made my search Encouraging quotes for your man wide -- ages I didn't want to give an older guy a heart attack and Self pics men to 50 miles in the LA area.

I swiped right on every man that popped up and matched with about Self pics men I sent out a blanket, "Hello handsome," note since women need to make the first move on Bumble. And then I waited. For the three guys that responded quickly, I flirted aggressively and hit them with the v-pic after four to five messages.

I braced myself for, "Hey, why'd you send that? I didn't know what else to do, so I wrote, "Send me a pic. Three dick pix: two Self pics men, one flaccid. Of course I took screenshots. I decided to up the shocker ante and hit the next crop of guys with the v-pic after initial hellos.

Four guys asked me Self pics men I did for a living, my guess was to determine if I was a pro or in porn. One guy asked me if I was real. One guy was an art critic towards my faux vaje pic. One sent me a picture of his dog. One guy sent me a dick pic and a link to a YouTube video of him doing slo-mo Self pics men.

Another responded with emojis. Eight guys asked to see more. Three sent me shirtless photos lame.

I got 10 dick pix, including one that included a, um, happy ending. Note to men: please don't EVER send that unprompted. An Australian wrote to me like an old elementary Sdlf pal. Still frustrated I hadn't totally freaked anyone out, I decided to send a v-pic as soon as we matched. No hellos. No commentary. Just wham, bam, Self pics men my little ma'am!

Self pics men the 10 that I sent, only three guys failed to respond no SSelf on how active they are on the app. The Self pics men seven wrote what Self pics men like to do to me and asked when Self pics men could meet. I wondered if I was just clueless about a secret lady trend. I asked five of the most responsive guys if they'd ever received a v-pic. Of the 37 guys who communicated with me about my v-pic, every one of them wanted to meet me, regardless of age or location.

Most blew up my phone with descriptions of what they'd do to my body, specifically to the fake vagina I found on the Interwebs. One guy gave me the best compliment of them all.

In the end, though, I didn't end up meeting any of msn guys and unmatched pids all of them. I don't think we'd be able to just meet Brazil dating free a drink after a v-pic.

After all, how do you come back from a level of pseudo-intimacy meen by a fake body part?

You don't. Overall, I was surprised that I didn't get my, "Gotcha!

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I'd initially hoped the guys would see how invasive it is to receive such Swlf photos from a stranger. When I'm excited to get to know a guy, his penis isn't the first part plcs him that I want to know. But given that Self pics men like to send dick pics, I suppose their enthusiasm for v-pics makes sense. In a strange twist, though, I did feel empowered, although in a much different way Self pics men I expected.

Men were clamoring to meet me, which is a great feeling even if it's not for the right reasons.

In between making dick pic collages, she's writing a collection of humor essays. Share on Facebook Tweet this article Pin it Email. Share on Facebook Pin it. meen

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